We are now at the point that if you want to have a sober conversation with her, you need to call or visit before 10am, as she starts drinking soon after that. She is also heavily medicated with addictive painkillers with back issues. We have tried many interventions to support her in getting help.

Remember the Six “C”s

Alas, I didn’t do any of that, and then she was dead. So I had no choice other than to deal with all that was unsaid and unanswered, all on my own. Whilst I now realise how perfect my route and its lessons were for my growth, I alcohol and menopause can categorically confirm it was by no means for the fainthearted. By highlighting how prevalent addiction is, we aim to dispel myths and dismantle the barriers of stigma and ‘othering’ that too often surrounds those affected.

Is my parent addicted to alcohol?

There was a great deal I wished I’d said to my mum before she died. I wanted her to know how sorry I was for being so angry about her addiction. How sorry I was for saying so many foul things to her; how inconsiderate I was to wheel my suffering around like I was the only person in pain. I wished I’d had a better understanding of mental illness at a younger age—a better understanding of her illness.

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Our commitment to quality includes the information we publish on our website. Discover more about us and our editorials process. Enter your number below and one of our addiction counsellors will call you back shortly. This test, developed by two social workers, has been heavilytested and widely used – and found very accurate in the diagnosis of alcoholproblems in the family. I always wanted to help her, and I couldn’t.

My mum’s battle with alcoholism

After an accident she had (whilst drunk), she had a long spell in hospital. She obviously couldn’t drink, suffered horrendous withdrawal and had to be medically detoxed. Certain members of my family assume as she’s not drinking anymore that we can all come together again and build relationships back up. Sadly I can’t forget the woman that my DM was for the last 30 years. It’s utterly horrendous being the child of an alcoholic parent. I don’t think I can forgive my mum deep down regardless of how I may seem to come across to her or other people.

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Contact us today to find out how we can help. Watching a parent struggle with alcohol addiction can be heartbreaking and can have profound consequences on your own mental health, even increasing the risk of you developing an addiction yourself. While it may seem impossible at times, alcohol ecstasy symptoms and warning signs disorders can be overcome and your support could be the most important factor in helping your parent turn their life around. I kept my mom’s drinking to myself as I was going through high school, convinced that others could smell my shame that her disease controlled my day-to-day life.

And unfortunately, Ive noticed my mom’s eyes have become very yellow, almost every time I see her. When I first noticed a year ago, i pointed it out to her. ” To which she replied “‘SARAH,’ just shut up!! She will continue to drink no matter what you do – whether you stay in her life or go. Your responsibility is to yourself and your life. I would try al anon for you and your brother.

When your loved one swears to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop of alcohol, you might believe them. You may still want to help your loved one when they are in the middle of a crisis. However, a crisis is usually the time when you should do nothing.

Yet these days, I’m so happy to share my vulnerability that I write unfettered tales about my human experience and post them on the internet in the hope they might help others. Mum, your battle with alcoholism was a storm that tested me each day. You chose the bottle but left me with no choice. Alcohol cost you your life & it cost me so much before I had even taken a sip and in the end left me without a mother.

AA / Dr’s / mental health providers – but she just isn’t interested as she has been told she isnt an alcoholic, apparently – by AA. (Possibly because she isn’t telling the truth about her true consumption). My siblings and I went low contact a few months ago because we find it very hard to cope with her behaviour and vitriol. Eg – we are useless, awful people, terrible parents, terrible children, never do anything right etc. and these comments are constant.But the low contact hasn’t helped at all. We are all petrified of being alone with her, because she tears into us.

1. If you’re lucky, you and your mum (or dad, or both) are the best of friends.
2. Sounds tough, artless, especially as what shines through the most is your utter loyalty and love for your sober mum.
3. Within months I was off of medication and no longer needing the counselling I’d been having for ages.
4. Sure, I went on to cocreate all the drama in my adult life, but that was naturally never my aspiration.
5. “And she told us who it was – it was someone in the family.”
6. I wished I’d calmly and compassionately explained what her neglect had done to my brothers and me, and how the impact of her addiction had shaped our lives.

When someone reaches a crisis point, sometimes that’s when they finally admit they have a problem and begin to reach out for help. If your loved one is truly dependent on alcohol, they are going to drink no matter what you do or say. However, there are certain things you can do that may help relieve the pressure, and in some cases, also better help your loved one start their path to recovery. If your parent does decide to seek help, it’s important to express your support. Call and visit when possible, to show you’re thinking about them and rooting for their recovery.

If your mother or father is ready to get help, offer your support and love and tell them that you will be beside them every step of the way. You don’t have to get through this alone, and whether or notyour mom or dad is ready to admit to a problem, you know there’s a problem,your ecstasy addiction and abuse feelings are valid and important, and you need support too. Never keep ita secret; never keep it all inside. Talk to trusted friends, a trusted teacheror counselor, or to anyone else who you feel comfortable confiding in. Her addiction forced me to be more cautious.

She famously created the “Kübler-Ross model” that outlines the Five Stages of Grief. Perhaps it’s not news to state that when someone you’re close to dies, you’re going through a process whether you like it or not. Or rather, the event and your reaction to it will most certainly invite a process. Natural consequences may mean that you refuse to spend any time with the person dependent on alcohol. This decision is not being mean or unkind. Often, in trying to “help,” well-meaning loved ones will actually do something that enables someone dependent on alcohol to continue along their destructive paths.

My guess is that your mother really does love you but has a limited capacity to show it because of her own set of serious problems. And, experiencing aggression and cruelty from the mother who is supposed to be your biggest supporter could and in your case did lead to depression. It sounds like you are feeling better now. If these feelings of depression return you must see a therapist. Your mother does not need to know about this particularly given her reaction to your speaking to “outsiders” in the past.